MY LIFEíS TESTIMONY
BY: CYNTHIA A. SWEETEN

**MY LIFE BEFORE JESUS**

As I thought about what to write I realized that my whole life is a testimony right down to my birth. My mother had been told by the doctors that she was not pregnant but that she had a tumor in her abdomen and that she would need surgery to remove it. Well, to make a long story short, here I am, the walking, talking, praising God tumor.

Growing up I donít remember my parents going to church but I was told that I was dedicated to the church at two weeks old. I remember my older sister and brothers talking about going to church but as for me, I have no memory of worshipping with my family. I was taught right from wrong and to say my prayers at night and grace before meals. I do remember there was always a bible in the house and I even had one of my own and I remember my mother down on her knees before bed saying prayers.

**WHAT LEAD TO MY COMMITMENT TO JESUS?**

When I was in 2nd grade we moved next door to some old friends of my parents who were Godly people. They took me under their wings and started to guide and mold me into being a Christian. They took me to church with them every Sunday and to everything else that was going on at the church. They had a daughter that had three daughters of her own one of which became my best friend. Well, sometime between 2nd and 3rd grade I got saved. I didnít really understand then what being saved was all about except that God was in my heart and I was to live a clean life and that I was going to heaven when I died.

When I was 21 I married a man who was not a Christian and didnít believe in God. I was not aware that I was unequally yoked and I had already begun to fall into sinful ways but I still kept a bible in the house but on the shelf and unread. I had two sons by him and I made sure they were baptized but I failed to make sure they had the Lord in their lives even though I taught them right from wrong.

After 13 years he divorced me and married another woman. Thatís when I really slid back into sin deeper and deeper into Satanís hands. I learned to really hate and I started to drink in bars and go to all sorts of parties and even picking up guys to fill the emptiness I was feeling. I even picked up a new language but it wasnít the tongues of the Holy Spirit, I believe it was Satanís language. I was still a good mother and I only did those things when the boys were with their father or if I had a baby sitter.

Well, I got pregnant and had an abortion which almost took my life. I got away from the people that I was hanging with and I started meeting new people that lead me to hang with the local firehouse crowd. This lead me back to more parties and drinking; I was having a fun filled life. I met a fireman and I got pregnant again. I was going to have another abortion but this time things were different. When ever I tried something would interfere. It was like there was an inner voice fighting with me so I decided to have this baby. My family began to walk away from me and my mother didnít speak to me for months and my other sons wanted to move in with my sister. I asked my self, what is wrong?

After I had the baby things started to change and family started to come back into my life and my drinking had almost all stopped. Then my life of hell started when the father of this new baby boy began being abusive with beatings, fights, stalking me as I tried to get away from him because of it. This lead to many police calls and courts and there were times when I was nearly killed by him. I always pulled through some how and it seemed that someone was tugging at my heart but I didnít know who and I was feeling stronger on the inside. Also during this period of time I lost both of my parents. I was able to eventually break away from that abuser and found help in counseling for my sons and myself.

One day a lady from a local church came to our door and asked about going to church with her on the church bus that she was driving but I wanted no parts of it. My youngest son wanted to go so I let him go. Every Saturday she would come to our door to see if my son still wanted to go to church on Sunday and if I had changed my mind. Even though my son begged me to go I wouldnít. She would pray for me and as time went by I began to look forward to her talking with me and praying for me. I soon noticed my life was changing for the better right to my near truck driver mouth which was gone.

Finally my son convinced me to go to church with him and when I did I felt so at peace for the first time in a long while. Strangers greeted me and made me feel that I belonged there and I know now that I did. I started to desire to attend church. I even went there early just to bathe in that feeling. Eventually I repented for all the sins I had committed and asked the Lord back into my life. Then my life really started to change because I had the love of the Lord back in my life again.

**HOW THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW**

It was not until recently that I realized my testimony. God Had never really left my life, I had turned away from Him and Satan had blinded me to the truth all those years that all I had to do was reach out for the Lord again. I realized that He had been there all along and was the one that kept me from death so many times.

I know now that God put my youngest son in my life to help turn me around and that was why I couldnít abort him when I wanted to so many times. I believe that the church bus driver was put at my door to help nurture me and my son so that He could work His plans out for our lives. As a result I have a renewed love life with marriage to my childhood sweetheart after 40 years of not seeing each other and I owe it all to God and I know that he is not finished with me yet. I may not be totally where He wants me to be, but I thank Him that Iím not where I used to be. AMEN!